Is the person I love right for me? The famous Finnish love doctor analyzed six main indicators of good love from the point of view of brain science How much of your intimacy corresponds?
Why do we fall in love with the wrong person?
As mentioned earlier, research shows that smell plays a central role in attraction and mate selection.
By exchanging pheromones, we can learn about each other’s immune defense system, health, hormonal status and other information, but smell cannot tell us a person’s personality, values, and whether the other person has the ability to take care of the family.
Appearance and smell are great for finding genetic compatibility, kissing and sex. A strong physical fit can also lead you to couple intimacy with another person, but smell and physical attraction can also make you feel attracted to someone.A wrong object can’t stop anything.
Falling in love and flirting in the early stages of a relationship can send your hormones surging, but because of the hormones, you can’t see the red flags, and you feel like your partner seems perfect from head to toe, even if friends and relatives try to warn you that they might have The problem is, that you still blindly believe that the other person is your soulmate.
The easiest way to avoid falling in love with the wrong person is to not be too impatient, slow down as much as possible to get to know the other person, and then have a relationship with the other person.
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I’m a big believer in the old fashioned chase culture, and I think it deserves a revival.
By talking openly, taking part in activities together, and taking time to get to know someone slowly, rather than being driven by hormones, I believe that by doing this it is possible to become find a truly suitable partner, and to avoid the surprise and confusion afterwards. the fever gradually subsides during the period of love.
But then again, a one night stand can sometimes lead to winning the jackpot.
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Our Stomach and Our True Love
Why do I occasionally feel gastrointestinal discomfort when I think about the person I love? Should I be worried if I don’t have a tumbling stomach on a date? Will our stomach know who is “true love”?
During my work in Gastrointestinal Surgery, I was particularly interested in the functioning of the human gut and how the gut microbiome affects health.
The intestine is the largest sensory organ in the human body, and the microorganisms on the surface of the intestine account for 90% of the cells of the human organs. These 100 trillion little microbes are very important to us. The gut microbiome mainly communicates with our brain through conductive substances and nerves, which is what is known as the vagus nerve.
This gut cell makes 95% of serotonin and 50% of dopamine in our bodies, and although these two hormones do not reach the brain directly, major studies point to a gut balance that appears affects our mood, which is very easy to do. affect the relationship.
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What are the factors that determine which bacteria are most comfortable in our gut?
Genetics, birth status, and what we eat in the first few months of our life all affect our gut, as well as current nutrition and the microbes we come into contact with, and how long we let our gut rest.
Every time you take antibiotics, many bacteria in the body will be killed, and then the balance of the flora will slowly be established, and the intake of nutrients, probiotics, and the normal lifestyle also affects the balance of the flora.
Stress also directly affects our stomachs, when the human system goes into “fight or flight” mode, the stomach has no time to digest.
As the brain and muscles need all the heat in the body, they borrow heat from the intestines. Stress also appears to have an effect on gut flora, and certain types of bacteria are more likely to survive in stressful environments, a change in the body that could keep us from getting out of sorts long after chronic stress come to an end
Animal experiments have also shown that changes in the intestinal flora will also change the animal’s personality. Planting intestinal flora can make mice that were shy and insecure become bold and curious. Although there is no similar human experiment, I dare say that you have noticed after recovering from stomach disease, that you occasionally feel sluggish for a while. .
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The most developed part of the brain, the cerebral cortex, is the ultimate determinant, which allows us to respond to different situations.
Nerve cells in the gut only respond according to the situation, and when you meet someone whose brain has been forgotten for years, you may experience a tingling sensation in the abdomen. Although this does not guarantee that the other person is your “true love”, it seems that your stomach thinks this relationship is worth trying.
Stomach tumbling on a first date suggests excitement, which is normal in this situation, but if your date makes you feel safe, comfortable, and your bowels are functioning properly from the start , it means that you are actually The feeling of not having a churning stomach should not be a concern.
When your love hormones hit, your stomach often doesn’t work as well for a while, and you’re likely to lose your appetite as a result.
Love is an emotion that can be felt in the stomach. When you first fall in love, you may not notice your weight loss; but when the relationship between the two develops into a comfortable and comfortable state, they both stay at home quietly eating pizza, candy and movies It has also become normal, and the weight will come back slowly.
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6 foundations of a good relationship
Love is often irrational, but it’s worth thinking about: What do you want from a relationship? In this way, the love map can be refined to a better state.
Research shows that the following elements are good foundations for a relationship:
1. Matching personalities and sense of humour
Laughter is the best medicine, and laughing when you’re stressed can help you relax, which is good for all relationships.
2. Similar values and attitudes towards life
Although opposite traits can complement each other, it is difficult for the optimists and pessimists of the North and South poles to advance and retreat at the same time.
3. Same interests and hobbies
If the interests and hobbies are different, it will be difficult for two people to find common subjects or activities together. But it’s also important to remember that when you do a hobby or activity together, your interaction is more important than the hobby itself.
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4. Love of equal shades
If one of them loves to stick together, but the other needs his own space, the relationship is more likely to be unstable.
5. The concept of work and leisure time are close
It can be a big challenge for men and women if a man expects to marry a woman who is family friendly, but the woman starts her own business.
6. Similar sexual urges
A good sex life is one of the most important elements of a long-term relationship. If two people have different interests and ideas about sex, a relationship crisis can emerge. Furthermore, if sex is good, we are more likely to turn a blind eye to other problems.
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The most important thing in a relationship is the expectations of two people. If the expectations are unrealistic, they will continue to be disappointed.
No matter how careful you are in choosing the perfect partner, don’t forget that difficulties will inevitably arise in a relationship. If you are looking for long-term stimulation, you will be disappointed, but if your expectations are in line with reality, that the progress of both will be much smoother.
The brain’s love map changes throughout life
Our brain’s love map changes throughout our lives.
When we’re young, we tend to follow our instincts and let pheromones dominate us, making it easy to fall in love with someone. This is because when we are young, we don’t have the pressure of starting a family, so we don’t waste time doing unnecessary analysis, and we don’t have the burden of previous relationships, and we haven’t had broken hearts yet.
This means that, under normal circumstances, we don’t hesitate and we don’t analyze too much, and just follow our intuition.
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But when we approach our 30s, the situation will be different, and we will start thinking about what kind of people we should start a family with.
Because of the turbulent age, many college-era romances either move on to the next stage or end in a breakup.
When looking for a life partner, women tend to pay attention to a man’s stability after becoming a wife and father, as well as how the man looks when he gets together with his relatives and friends.
The relationship can speed up at this time because of the marriageable age. Typically, women give birth to their first child at this age.
When you face a life crisis, such as ending a long-term relationship, you may step into a “healing” relationship, perhaps find someone who is the complete opposite of your ex, or a caring and trusted haven where you can Mend broken hearts.
However, the way a personal crisis is handled can be thought-provoking, and it doesn’t take you long to discover that you didn’t pick the right person from the right person.
Being single is good for most people. Although it is difficult to end a relationship, it is still a very important step to think about and analyze past relationships.
If you have lost yourself in a previous relationship, perhaps you can take this opportunity to rediscover yourself and remember what is most important to you.
Once your inner peace is restored and your life returns to normal, you may find someone who is truly right for you.
