I just said goodbye to my mom after having three weeks with her.She made the journey from North Carolina to see me, her oldest daughter, in wales.
Fifteen years ago, I met a Welsh boy, fell in love, and moved my just-starting-out adult life to the UK, not having the foresight to realize what a huge decision this was.
How do you know, at just 22, that making a transatlantic move will not just change the course of the next couple of years, but of your entire life?
My mom understood the goodbye more than I did
I remember how tearful my mom had been upon my leaving all those years ago. I, too, of course, cried, but she really cried. She understood, given her years of life lived, I would almost definitely never
When I had my three kids, each two years apart, I felt a deep longing for my mom. Not someone to do the laundry, clean the dishes, or have the baby for me in the night.I could do all of this – I was and still am fiercely independent.
I wanted her to just sit with me. and I know she wanted exactly the same.
We both felt the pangs of being apart, as it only feels fitting that the woman who carried and gave birth to you should also be there when you do the same. And to be there in those months after, when postnatal depression and severe fatigue kick in.
I got through even these wearisome years of having very young babies and toddlers, not unscathed, but I made it.
We talk daily
Since then, my conversations with her have become more frequent.We text daily on WhatsApp and ring each othre
So for those three weeks over Christmas when she was here, we both soaked up each other’s company, not knowing when we’d have it again. Even though I must admit we annoyed each other for the first couple of days, trying to adapt to each other’s rhythms and ways after being apart for so long.
And when she left, it felt like I walked into a wall that hit me with all the reminders of how hard it is indeed living away from my mom.
I had a little cry, as I frequently enough do once she leaves, and then I did what she has always taught me by example - I counted my blessings, recounted how this is making me strong, and moved on.
I have a loving mom. I have access to technology that lets me stay in frequent contact with her.
And as much as living away from her wouldn’t be a choice I’d quickly make, now that I’m older and wiser, it has made me strong and resilient. I’ve had to learn to…
