The first hint of my son’s allergies came around old. I had, in fact, successfully introduced egg yolk earlier, as part of starting solids. Whole egg white was planned for after his first birthday, following recommendations at the time. He was a robust baby, thriving on breastmilk, quickly gaining weight – reaching a point where, by old, he looked like he might burst, and sporting ‘Michelin man’ arms by .
I found myself enjoying the process of making his baby food. I even purchased a baby food maker to streamline the process, allowing me to use a wider variety of ingredients. He particularly loved puréed white fish and shrimp, which I would cook with finely chopped vegetables. He would happily gobble it down, and at every pediatric check-up, his height and weight consistently landed in the 97th-98th percentile – placing him in the top 2-3% for growth. Even my mother, who was helping with childcare, was proud of his healthy development.
Until he turned two, we lived in the apartment next door to my parents. I intentionally sought out that arrangement. I was planning to return to work, and my husband traveled frequently for business, leaving me feeling unprepared to manage everything alone. Fortunately, we found a suitable place, and while my husband was abroad, I, with my mother’s help, furnished our new home, creating a safe space for our growing family. My parents were surprisingly supportive, welcoming the arrangement rather than expressing resentment.
For the first year of his life, I was solely responsible for his care. Both my parents held full-time jobs. My mother, a self-employed entrepreneur, managed to fit in childcare before and after work. While she couldn’t provide constant care, her presence was a constant source of reassurance.
One evening, my mother observed me meticulously weighing out portions of egg yolk for his meal. She commented, “What are you doing making it so difficult? If he can eat egg yolk, just give him the whole egg! You’re overcomplicating things.”
I was leaning towards her advice. Approaching his second birthday, I felt it was time to introduce the whole egg. I gave him a few spoonfuls, and almost immediately, a red rash erupted around his mouth. He began rubbing his face, clearly uncomfortable. It was a clear allergic reaction.
We rushed to the nearest hospital emergency room. The rash had subsided somewhat by the time we arrived, and the doctor prescribed a dose of antihistamine. He seemed to recover quickly, and we went home. But that was just the beginning.
The real trouble started after we returned home. He had difficulty settling down for sleep, and even when he did, he woke frequently. Unlike his usual peaceful slumber, he was restless and agitated, seemingly in discomfort. Eventually, he vomited. After he threw up, he seemed more comfortable and fell back asleep.
My mother was devastated. She blamed herself, saying, “Oh, my goodness, what have I done? I shouldn’t have come over tonight and suggested that… I’m so sorry.”
I reassured her, “Mom, it probably would have happened anyway. He has such high allergy levels. Don’t blame yourself.”
Despite my words, I could see the pain in her eyes. She’s always been a strong woman, navigating a demanding career and family life with unwavering resilience. She’s the one I’ve always turned to for guidance and support. To see her so distressed because of my son’s suffering was heartbreaking. Our journey is far from over, and finding a way to alleviate his allergies and ease my mother’s worry remains a constant challenge.
The experience highlighted a common, often unspoken, burden of motherhood: the guilt. As one article notes, maternal diet during lactation is not a proven cause of food allergies in infants, and mothers should not blame themselves for past dietary choices. (Let go of the guilt: If you ate allergens while breastfeeding before you knew, that is not your fault.
, Allie Karas, MA, ).
However, the emotional toll extends beyond initial dietary concerns. The constant fear, the relentless need for vigilance, and the feeling of isolation can be overwhelming. As one mother described, allergy parents often feel dismissed as overly anxious or neurotic, even by those closest to them. (Allergy parents live with completely rational fears but are often treated as though they are neurotic, irrational, helicopter parents.
, narf.org.uk).
This sense of loneliness is compounded by the fact that allergy knowledge and training are often lacking among healthcare professionals and educators, leaving parents feeling solely responsible for their child’s safety. (I was his only hope and this realisation terrified me.
, narf.org.uk).
Navigating food allergies is a complex and emotionally draining experience. It requires not only medical knowledge and careful planning but also a strong support system and a willingness to advocate for your child’s needs. It’s a journey filled with uncertainty, but one that is ultimately driven by a mother’s unwavering love and determination to protect her child.
