Change Your Schemas, Change Your Life
- Recently, I was in a professional meeting when two colleagues began talking about an event they'd gone to the night before with the rest of the group.
- As the conversation continued, it became clear that everyone except me had been invited.
- I was filtering everything through an old story-my lifelong schema of being an outsider.
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The Power of Schemas: How Our Past Shapes Our Present
Table of Contents
Recently, I was in a professional meeting when two colleagues began talking about an event they’d gone to the night before with the rest of the group.
I sat there thinking, Wait-what event? No one told me about an event.
As the conversation continued, it became clear that everyone except me had been invited. I could feel my chest tighten as an old,familiar story surfaced: I’m not included. I don’t belong.
In that moment, my mind began to spiral. I was filtering everything through an old story-my lifelong schema of being an outsider.
After the meeting, I took a step back to reflect and ask myself what else could be true.
I realized there could be many possible explanations, so I decided to reach out by emailing one of the group members. It turned out that I hadn’t received the message about the event because my email address wasn’t on the group’s mailing list.
The experience made me think about how easily our minds fill in gaps with assumptions. We all have patterns of thinking that shape how we interpret what’s happening around us-sometimes accurately, sometimes not. In psychology, these patterns are called schemas.
What Are Schemas?
Schemas are mental frameworks that shape how we see ourselves, others, and the world. You can think of them like the Grand Canyon: Over time, small, repeated experiences carve deep grooves that form the landscape of our minds.
Part of my role as a therapist is to listen for people’s beliefs, or schemas. I see schemas show up all the time-stories that began in childhood but still drive adult behaviour.They often form as a way to stay safe or to make sense of painful experiences. The problem is, what once protected us as children can hold us back as adults.
Schemas aren’t necessarily bad or wrong-they’ve been serving their purpose to protect us. But they’re usually outdated. And the more awareness we bring to them, the more freedom we have to respond differently.
Types of Schemas
Schemas can be broadly categorized into several types. Here’s a table outlining some common schema categories and examples: