The Question: A ‌Boyfriend’s Lingering Ties

Dear eric: My boyfriend of almost two years ‌seems unable to break ‍away from his former spouse’s family. The marriage lasted 15 years. There were no children, so‌ he has virtually‌ no contact with⁤ the‍ wife.

However, he​ seems unwilling to ‌refuse any⁢ invitation from the family‍ to ‌have dinner, lunch and go on weekend trips to their bay‌ house.⁢ Initially,I ⁢went along with him as I was invited but I ​got tired of hearing about the‌ ex-wife from her family so I started⁤ saying no. I have expressed my displeasure on numerous ⁤occasions so⁤ my boyfriend will ‍just join them for meals and ​family events‍ without me.

When I was out‌ of town visiting ‌family for two weeks, my boyfriend revealed to me that‍ he⁤ had⁤ been⁤ with the family four times⁤ in less ​than one week.When he‍ mentioned joining⁤ them for the ⁣Thanksgiving meal,he knew from⁢ my reaction​ that I was not happy about it.

Any advice for me going forward? If he knows I ⁤don’t like his doing that, it truly seems⁤ like ⁤he would‌ stop.

– Confused

The Answer: ​Understanding the Connection

Dear Confused: I wouldn’t go‍ so far as to say your‍ boyfriend should stop ⁢doing something like this ‌just as⁤ you don’t like it. But the questions‍ you’re ​raising should prompt him to give ‌you a little more insight into what he’s thinking.

Even ⁢though ⁢many people, ⁤if ‍not most, don’t‌ maintain the same level of closeness to their in-laws after a divorce, obviously the people​ in this situation feel differently. They were in each other’s lives for 15 ⁣years, so one can see the logic, I suppose.

I can’t help but wonder ⁣where the ex-wife is in all this, though. ‌Is she hanging out with⁤ the family, or ⁣is your​ boyfriend chilling with her folks while she’s off somewhere‌ else?

Ultimately, though, ⁤this⁤ is about you and your boyfriend.