Digging Out of a Therapy Rut
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For Katerina Kelly, therapy has been a consistent part of their life sence elementary school in Natick, Mass. A teacher recommended counseling for the then 8-year-old. At the time, Katerina’s autism impacted their ability to manage time, make decisions, and socialize. While therapy initially proved beneficial, things shifted as college approached.
mx. Kelly, now 29, explained, “I always left counseling feeling either worse than I started — or numb.” The strategies that Mx. Kelly’s therapist had taught them in childhood weren’t as effective as they got older. The therapy, and the therapist, were not producing the desired results, and they had hit a rut.
Understanding the Therapy Rut
A therapy rut can be disheartening, but it doesn’t have to signal the end of your mental health journey. Psychologists offer insights on identifying these sticking points and how to address them.
What Exactly Is a Therapy Rut?
Jameca Woody Cooper, president of the Missouri Psychological Association, explains that a rut manifests as stalled or unhelpful therapy sessions. You might experience emotional disconnection from your therapist or a decline in trust regarding their plan. Discomfort, tension, dread, or missed appointments can also indicate a rut.
Dr. Woody Cooper notes that a rut can lead to “increased irritability while you’re in session, or a feeling of being misunderstood.”
Several factors can contribute to a therapy rut:
- You’ve made as much progress as you can in therapy at this time.
- You would benefit from a different therapist or approach.
- You need a new therapy goal.
- You don’t need sessions as frequently as you did in the past.
- Your expectations aren’t aligned with those of your therapist.
- You’re not ready to explore past trauma or a difficult issue.
Mx. Kelly experienced similar roadblocks with their childhood therapist.”When I did try to bring up new things I was told we could work on it in the ‘next session,’ but that never came to be,” they said. “I hit a point where I started feeling so low.”
Consequently, Mx. Kelly sought a new therapist, eventually finding a better fit after more than six months.
Taking Action: Overcoming the Sticking Point
Regine Galanti, a therapist in Long Island specializing in anxiety treatment with exposure therapy, suggests that therapists should recognize when clients are feeling stuck. “When I’m having the same conversations for more than two weeks in a row — that makes my warning bells start to go off,” she said. This signals the need to re-evaluate therapy goals.
Steps to Take When You’re in a Rut
Experts advise against prematurely ending therapy after just one or two unproductive sessions.
Alayna Park, an assistant professor of psychology at the University of Oregon, acknowledges, ”It’s unfortunatly not uncommon to occasionally have a therapy session that feels like a dud.” However, if you feel you haven’t learned new coping skills or gained a better understanding of your problem after three or four sessions, it’s time to communicate your concerns.
Dr. Park suggests initiating the discussion with phrases like: “I feel like my progress has stalled,” or “I would like to transition to learning new or different coping skills,” or simply: “I feel like I’m in a therapy rut.”
Bethany A. Teachman, a professor of psychology and the director of clinical training at the University of Virginia, recommends asking your therapist about the expected duration of therapy, anticipated progress, and how progress is being measured.
While voicing concerns might feel uncomfortable, experts emphasize that “a good therapist will not get angry or annoyed.”
Dr. Teachman asserts that “Good therapy empowers patients” to do hard things.
Knowing When to Take a Break From Therapy
If discussions with your therapist don’t lead to positive changes,consider taking a break from therapy.
Dr. Woody Cooper explains that stepping away provides “a sense of agency, and time to evaluate if the current therapeutic relationship is the correct one.” This break allows for reflection on feelings and behaviors, exploration of different therapy types, or trying a new therapist.
Annie Herzig, an author and illustrator living in Fort Collins, colo., decided to take a break after several months with a new therapist when she saw no improvement in her mood. At 43, Ms.herzig emailed her therapist, stating she wasn’t getting what she needed from their sessions.
This break proved beneficial. Ms. herzig found a new therapist and has been seeing them for four years. “I feel energized at the end,” Ms. Herzig said of their sessions together. “Even if I cry my eyes out.”
Here’s a Q&A-style article addressing therapy ruts, synthesized from the provided article and augmented with insights from the search results:
Therapy can be a powerful tool for mental well-being, but what happens when it feels like you’ve hit a wall? This article explores the concept of a “therapy rut,” offering insights and actionable steps to reignite your progress.
Q: What exactly is a therapy rut?
A: A therapy rut occurs when your sessions become stalled, unproductive, or even feel harmful. Jameca Woody Cooper, president of the Missouri Psychological Association, describes it as a period where therapy sessions cease to be helpful or feel like you are just going through the motions. It’s a sticking point in your mental health journey where you’re not experiencing the progress you once were.
Q: What are the signs that I might be in a therapy rut?
A: Several indicators can signal a therapy rut:
Emotional disconnection from your therapist.
A decline in trust towards your therapist’s plan.
Feelings of discomfort, tension, or even dread before sessions.
Increased irritability during sessions or feeling misunderstood.
You frequently miss appointments.
Conversations start to feel repetitive and unproductive.
Q: What factors can contribute to a therapy rut?
A: Several factors can lead to this stagnation:
Progress Plateau: You may have made as much progress as possible with your current approach or therapist at this time.
Mismatch: You might benefit from a different therapist or therapeutic approach altogether.
Goal Attainment/Stagnation: You may need a new therapy goal now that you’ve achieved previous ones.
Frequency Adjustment Needed: You no longer require sessions as frequently as you did in the past.
Mismatched Expectations: Your expectations for therapy aren’t aligned with those of your therapist.
Readiness Issues: You might not be ready to explore past trauma or a difficult issue.
Q: What should I do if I think I’m in a therapy rut?
A: Don’t panic! Here’s a step-by-step approach:
- Don’t Jump to Conclusions: Avoid prematurely ending therapy after just one or two unproductive sessions. Everyone has an off day, including therapists and therapy sessions themselves..
- Communicate: After three or four unproductive sessions,express your concerns to your therapist.
- Initiate a Conversation: Use phrases like:
“I feel like my progress has stalled.”
“I would like to transition to learning new or different coping skills.”
“I feel like I’m in a therapy rut.”
- Ask Questions: Bethany A. Teachman, a professor of psychology, recommends asking your therapist about:
The expected duration of therapy.
Anticipated progress.
How progress is being measured.
- Evaluate and Re-evaluate Therapy Goals: Regine Galanti, a therapist specializing in anxiety treatment, suggests the need to re-evaluate therapy goals when clients are consistently having the same conversations for more than two weeks.
Q: Is it okay to take a break from therapy?
A: Yes, it can be beneficial. If discussions with your therapist don’t lead to positive changes, consider taking a break. Dr. Woody Cooper explains that stepping away provides “a sense of agency, and time to evaluate if the current therapeutic relationship is the correct one.”
Q: what are the benefits of taking a break from therapy?
A: A break allows you to:
Reflect on your feelings and behaviors.
Explore different therapy types.
Try a new therapist.
Gain a sense of agency over your mental health journey.
Q: how do I no when it’s time to find a new therapist?
A: If you’ve communicated your concerns, re-evaluated goals, and still feel stuck, it may be time to seek a new therapist. Look for a therapist whose approach and personality better suit your needs. Also it’s important to keep in mind, as Bethany A. Teachman asserts that “Good therapy empowers patients” to do hard things, so if you do not feel empowered it’s time to get a new therapist.
Q: What if I feel uncomfortable voicing my concerns to my therapist?
A: it’s understandable to feel uneasy, but remember that “a good therapist will not get angry or annoyed.” Their role is to support your growth, and open dialog is crucial for that. If you feel consistently unheard or dismissed, that’s a strong indication that a new therapeutic relationship might be necessary.
Q: Are there other ways to boost my mental health if I’m in therapy rut?
A: Yes! While addressing the rut with your therapist is crucial, you can also focus on creating positive changes in other areas of your life.According to Psychology today, some simple techniques in include: Engaging in activities you enjoy, Practicing self-care, and connecting with supportive people.
By recognizing the signs of a therapy rut and taking proactive steps, you can regain momentum and continue on your path to improved mental well-being.