Friendship vs Romance: Balancing Relationships
- Rhaina Cohen, author of "The other Significant Others: Reimagining Life With Friendships," experienced firsthand how society views friendships differently than romantic partnerships.
- Cohen found it interesting that the realtor saw marriage and family as being at odds with friendship, rather than seeing them as compatible.
- In recent years, marriage has gained even more importance, with the expectation that a partner should also be a best friend and fulfill all emotional needs.
Explore the complex dynamics of modern relationships: This piece tackles the pervasive undervaluing of friendships in a society that often prioritizes romance.Uncover why close friendships are vital for your mental well-being, and how societal pressures can impact these crucial bonds, including how jealousy in friendships can be a positive sign. Learn practical strategies to balance both romantic love and friendships. Society frequently expects romantic partners to fulfill all emotional needs, possibly causing friendships to wane. Discover how to reframe expectations and prioritize both types of relationships for a richer, more fulfilling life. News Directory 3 is here to guide you. Discover what’s next to balance your life.
Why Are Friendships Less Valued Than Romantic Relationships?
Updated June 11, 2025
Rhaina Cohen, author of “The other Significant Others: Reimagining Life With Friendships,” experienced firsthand how society views friendships differently than romantic partnerships. While house-hunting with friends, a realtor questioned Cohen about spending time with friends, implying it meant he loved his family less.
Cohen found it interesting that the realtor saw marriage and family as being at odds with friendship, rather than seeing them as compatible. This highlights a societal tendency to place platonic bonds as secondary, reinforced by fewer legal protections for friends compared to spouses.
In recent years, marriage has gained even more importance, with the expectation that a partner should also be a best friend and fulfill all emotional needs. Though, studies show that having close friends is better for long-term mental health than solely relying on a romantic relationship. A supportive partner should encourage outside connections.
Andra Arona krems, associate professor of psychology and director of the UCLA Centre for Friendship Research, notes the pressure of expecting a romantic partner to be everything—best friend, co-parent, and confidant. Devoting so much time to romance can cause friendships to suffer.
This shift can lead to territorial feelings when a friend starts dating someone new,and it’s not uncommon to feel a sense of loss when a close friend marries. Krems says feelings of jealousy or sadness are normal in these situations, especially when you suspect you might be replaced.
Krems adds that threatened friendships might lead to “friend guarding” behaviors, which can motivate people to be more intentional with their friends.Jealousy can signal the value of the friendship and the need to maintain it.
It’s not uncommon to experience a sense of loss when a close friend marries.
Prioritizing Love and Friendship
Cohen suggests viewing people as individuals with distinct but equal roles. For example, if a friend is unwell, don’t assume their partner is solely responsible for their care. Showing up for friends deepens the relationship and reduces pressure on partners.
Reimagine free time to include friends,not just family and couples. Cohen suggests inviting a friend on a family trip or throwing parties for both single and partnered guests.
If you feel jealous of a friend’s divided attention,recognize it as a sign that they matter to you. Be the one to initiate plans, understanding that friendship takes effort and isn’t always perfectly balanced.
A friend-focused life requires rethinking your identity as part of various relationships and adjusting expectations. Balance date nights with dinners with friends and other social activities. Sometimes a partner’s needs will take precedence, other times a friend’s will. Everyone gets their time in the spotlight.