How to Adopt Grandparents on Facebook
- Beyond AI-generated content and wedding photos of acquaintances, Facebook harbors communities fostering unexpected connections: groups dedicated to finding "grandparents of the heart."
- One single mother posted, "Good evening, I raised my daughter alone, without a father or grandparents.
- When blood relations fall short, individuals turn to the internet, seeking familial bonds.
Facebook Groups Connect Families, “Grandparents of teh Heart”
Beyond AI-generated content and wedding photos of acquaintances, Facebook harbors communities fostering unexpected connections: groups dedicated to finding “grandparents of the heart.”
One single mother posted, “Good evening, I raised my daughter alone, without a father or grandparents. I’m looking for grandparents at heart; my 11-year-old daughter lacks that connection.”
When blood relations fall short, individuals turn to the internet, seeking familial bonds. For over a decade, a private Facebook group has facilitated these connections, acting as a digital message board. Parents, often single, detail their needs, location, and children, sometimes including photos. Potential “grandparents of the heart” respond, initiating contact in comments or private messages, all striving to create chosen family ties.
Seeking Intergenerational Bonds
The group’s description states its purpose: “For children in France and elsewhere who lack grandparents, and for parents who wish their children to have a loving grandfather or grandmother figure. Announce yourself to find or to be grandparents of heart.” Created in march 2015, the group now has over 800 members.
The parents seeking connections represent diverse circumstances. Some are single parents facing challenges: “I am a mother of four, three older children and a 3-year-old. I am raising them alone without family, and I would like to find grandparents of heart.” Others mourn lost relatives: “My daughter will be 3 years old.We recently lost her grandmother. I’m looking for a grandmother who can love her as much as her grandmother did,” one user wrote. Estranged relationships and geographical distance also motivate the search.

Potential grandparent volunteers post less frequently, frequently enough anonymously, fearing recognition by their own families. Some, newly retired, express a desire for connection: “I am a young retiree with much to share and give: attention, tenderness.” Others lack grandchildren within their own families: “I will never have the chance to have grandchildren; my children don’t want any. It’s a huge void for me.” Some suffer from broken relationships with their adult children.
Edwige, an administrator of the Facebook group, told numerama she discovered the group in 2023 while searching for grandchildren online. She quickly became an administrator and implemented an album system summarizing requests from both parents and potential grandparents, organized by region.She also manages member validation and moderates content, a daily commitment. “Some days are busier than others,” edwige said. “But if it brings happiness to both sides, why not?”
matching Hearts
Edwige explained her role is to connect potential matches. The parties then communicate, typically via Messenger or phone, before meeting in person to assess compatibility. “It has to work both ways; it’s an interaction,” Edwige said. Some users celebrate triumphant connections. “Thanks to you, we have an 8-year-old girl!” one “grandmother at heart” posted.
Stéphanie, 61, an assistant for students with disabilities, lost contact with her own grandchildren after a “family quarrel.” She discovered the Facebook group and, after an initial unsuccessful attempt, posted an ad and was quickly contacted.
Stéphanie met Lucie* for coffee and board games. “At the end of the afternoon, Lucie told me, ‘I want you to be my grandmother,'” Stéphanie recalled. “I was delighted.” For five months, lucie has regularly visited Stéphanie and her husband for lunch, games, and holidays. ”And Monday, egg hunting in the garden,” Stéphanie said.
However, not all connections succeed.”There is no contract that unites us,” Edwige explained. “Everything is based on trust.” Sometimes, parents abruptly sever ties with the “grandparents of heart,” a “rupture” that can reopen old wounds of abandonment, the administrator said.
Others express frustration with the lack of responses. “I’m leaving the group; no promising contacts,” one user wrote. Geographical distance and the age of the children can be factors. “Grandparents of heart want young children,” one user lamented. “I have two teenagers,13 and 17… no one is interested… Yet they want to be ‘adopted’ by grandparents and have a lot of love to give and good times to share!”
Rewards and Risks
The most meaningful threat to this system is “doubtful profiles,” edwige said. She noted a sexual assault case in another Facebook group led to its closure. The group’s reliance on trust encourages parents to post photos of their children, often without blurring their faces, visible to all members.
administrators carefully vet new members, examining profile photos, platform tenure, and group affiliations.”We don’t have access to criminal records like associations do,” Edwige explained. “For us, it’s a form of volunteering.”
For many, this volunteer effort provides a vital connection. In 2021, 530,000 French people over 60 were in a state of “social death,” according to Les Petits Frères des Pauvres. While some find family through Facebook groups or organizations like Manou sharing,20% never use the internet,highlighting the importance of personal connection,adoptive or otherwise.
*Name has been changed.
Finding Family Online: The World of “Grandparents of the Heart” Facebook Groups
In a world where traditional family structures don’t always meet everyone’s needs, people are turning too the internet for connection. One unexpected trend is the rise of Facebook groups dedicated to connecting children with “grandparents of the heart”—individuals who offer the love, support, and guidance of grandparents, even if thay aren’t related by blood.
What exactly are “Grandparents of the Heart” Groups?
These Facebook groups act as digital meeting places for parents and potential “grandparents.” Primarily based in France and other locations, these groups offer a platform for people lacking traditional familial connections or seeking to expand them. Parents post descriptions of their children and circumstances, and potential “grandparents” respond, initiating contact and hopefully, forging lasting chosen family bonds.
How Do These Facebook Groups Work?
The process is relatively straightforward:
- Parents Post: Parents, frequently enough single or facing other challenges, share their situation. They describe their child’s age,personality,and the kind of “grandparent” they’re hoping to find.
- Grandparents Respond: Individuals looking to become “grandparents” see these posts and reach out, expressing interest and sharing their own backgrounds.
- Interaction Begins: if there’s a mutual connection, communication often moves to platforms like Messenger or phone calls.
- In-Person Meetings: Eventually, the families meet in person to assess compatibility and build a relationship.
Who Uses These Groups and Why?
The community using these groups is diverse, but there are common motivations:
For Parents:
- Single Parents: Many single parents seek extra support and loving figures for their children.
- Loss of Family: Some parents have experienced the loss of a grandparent and want to fill that void for their child.
- Estranged Relationships: Others may have distant or strained relationships with existing family.
- Geographical Distance: distance from family members can also prompt the search for alternative support systems.
For Potential “Grandparents”:
- Retired Individuals: Many retired individuals want to share their experience and caring to another family.
- Lack of Biological Grandchildren: Some people don’t have grandchildren within their own families or wish to expand their family.
- Broken Relationships with Children: Those with strained relationships with their own adult children sometimes turn to these groups to nurture their desire to connect, care, and share.
Are There Any Success Stories?
Absolutely! Many users celebrate successful connections.
For example, a woman named Stéphanie, after dealing with a family quarrel, met with Lucie through a Facebook group. They connected instantly and over time, built a joyful relationship of lunch, games, and even holiday celebrations.
What Are the Challenges of Joining a “Grandparents of the heart” Group?
While these groups offer great potential, there are potential downsides:
- Lack of Formal Contracts: All connections are built on trust. There are no legal or formal contracts, making it possible to abruptly sever ties, potentially reopening old wounds.
- Lack of Responses: Parents and potential grandparents may not always connect. Several users have expressed frustration with the lack of replies to their posts.
- Geographical Distance: Physical distance can make regular interaction challenging.
- Vetting Process: The group administrators have limited resources compared to associations to vet potential members,making sure to keep bad actors and dangerous people out.
- Age Preferences: Some potential “grandparents” are primarily interested in very young children, which might not be a good fit for families with older children.
What are the Risks Involved?
As the administrator of the Facebook group confirmed: the most significant potential threat is “doubtful profiles”. The reliance on trust, coupled with the sharing of children’s photos, makes it crucial to be aware of potential risks. Admins attempt vetting potential members, yet without access to criminal records.
Are These Groups Safe?
Safety is a significant concern. Group administrators usually take steps to vet new members,which include examining profile photos,platform tenure,and group affiliations. However, it’s essential for all member to exercise personal caution.
Can These Groups Realy Replace Traditional Family?
No,while these groups provide invaluable support,they do not replace traditional family. It is one way to help with connection, sharing, and well-being for people who lack or wish to expand their family connections.
What are the Benefits of Creating a “Chosen Family”?
Creating chosen family offers many benefits. For the children involved, it can open up their circle of people and provide the extra support and connection they need. For “grandparents of the heart,” it provides the sense of purpose, companionship, and fun that family life offers.
Are There Alternatives to Facebook Groups for Finding “Grandparents of the Heart”?
Yes, there are other ways to find and/or connect with people who are interested in “grandparenting of the heart”. Here are some examples:
- Local Community Centers: Many community centers and social service agencies host activities and events for seniors and families. this gives an possibility for forming natural connections.
- Senior Centers: Senior centers or retirement communities often run volunteer programs where older adults can interact with school children with a planned basis.
- Volunteer Organizations: There are organizations and agencies that assist with arranging volunteer opportunities between families and volunteers who want to connect.

“Grandparents of the heart” Facebook groups offer a valuable service by connecting people and facilitating intergenerational connections.While crucial to approach these groups with awareness and caution. For many, these communities are offering comfort, support, and love when they are needed most.
