I Have Some Questions for the New Florida U.S. History Curriculum – The Atlantic

Alexandra Petri has published a critique of Florida’s new U.S. History curriculum, which the state developed following its dissatisfaction with the AP U.S. History curriculum, describing the latter as too woke.

Writing for The Atlantic, Petri suggests that the state is attempting to provide what Kellyanne Conway once termed alternative facts. To illustrate her concerns regarding the new course framework, Petri created a satirical final exam designed to mirror the perceived direction of the state’s educational approach.

Satirical Examination of the Curriculum

The satirical exam focuses on several key areas of American history, using absurd premises to question how the state may be framing historical narratives. One section of the exam addresses the Declaration of Independence, suggesting a version of history where the document is essentially ripped from the Holy Bible.

In this framing, Petri posits that the phrase All men are created is a reference to the book of Genesis, and that the nature of the Declaration as a covenant is a reflection of the book of Deuteronomy.

The critique further extends to the portrayal of Christopher Columbus. In the satirical exam, Columbus is described as an explorer and entrepreneur who brought a sense of mystery and wonder to the New World, while also noting he possessed a perfect body shape for a statue.

Portrayals of Identity and Labor

Petri uses the exam to highlight the potential erasure of women and the rebranding of systemic labor in the curriculum. When asked if any women were involved in U.S. History prior to the Seneca Falls Convention, the satirical response is Not to my knowledge, despite the obvious existence of figures such as George Washington’s mother or international figures like Isabella I of Castile and Queen Elizabeth I of England.

The exam also touches upon the teaching of slavery, questioning how long a student can go without mentioning the institution. The satirical answer suggests replacing the term slavery with indentured servitude.

The Framing of the Founding

The final portion of Petri’s satirical exam describes the Founding of the United States through a surreal lens. She describes a fictional scenario in which George Washington used a enormous cherrystone for a pillow and dreamed of wrestling a super buff angel.

According to this narrative, Washington awoke from the dream holding the Bible in one hand and the Constitution in the other, an image Petri attributes to a fictional painting by John McNaughton.