Marriage Story Wolves USDA Controversy
Drones, divorce, and Deterring Wolves: The USDA’s Unusual New Tactics
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For years, ranchers have grappled with the age-old problem of protecting livestock from predators. But in Oregon, the USDA is trying something… different. Realy different. thier latest strategy for deterring wolves from preying on cattle involves drones blasting audio - and not just any audio. We’re talking emotionally charged scenes from popular movies.
From Cattle Casualties to Cinematic Solutions
“Humans are bad,” the Oregon-based USDA district supervisor, Paul Wolf, said in the report. Wolf has, fittingly, been leading operations on wolf hazing with drones for three years. The strategy was deployed in response to an uptick in wolves devouring cattle at concerning rates. In one 20-day period, 11 cows were killed in oregon’s Klamath Basin. Something had to change.
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But once the wolves heard the drone audio – the report doesn’t specify any particular section of the scene, so we’re going with Driver screaming ”Every day I wake up and hope your dead” and immediately breaking down in tears – they were deterred. A subsequent 85-day period showed that only two cows were killed.
It sounds bizarre, but the results speak for themselves. This isn’t just a one-off experiment, either. The USDA has been exploring a range of auditory deterrents with surprising success.
Beyond Blockbusters: What Else Scares Away Wolves?
The USDA also found that AC/DC’s 1990 single “Thunderstruck” has been helpful in scaring off hungry wolves, as well as more conventional methods like fireworks and gunshots. the crew members steering the drones in the dark of the night will sometimes call out to the animals themselves. In the report, the wildlife biologist Colby McAdams yelled, “hey get out of here! Get!”
But let’s be honest, Johansson’s screaming “You gaslighted me, you’re a fucking villain” would be so much more cinematic. And potentially, just as effective. The key seems to be unexpected, jarring sounds. Wolves, like many animals, are cautious creatures. Novel and unpleasant noises trigger a flight response, sending them searching for easier meals elsewhere.
This raises an captivating question: are wolves simply averse to human drama, or is it the sheer unexpectedness of the sound that’s doing the trick? It’s likely a combination of both. Wolves are intelligent animals, and they quickly learn to associate certain sounds with danger. A sudden outburst of raw emotion from a movie scene is certainly something they wouldn’t encounter in their natural environment.
The Future of Wolf Deterrence: Will the Wolves Adapt?
Whether the drones are a suitable long-term solution remains to be seen. The biggest concern is habituation. If the wolves develop a tolerance to Marriage Story, the USDA could always try Andrew Garfield howling “Sorry, my Prada’s at the cleaners along with my hoodie and my ‘fuck you’ flip-flops, you pretentious douchebag” in The Social Network.
Seriously though, the USDA will need to continually update its sound library to stay one step ahead. This could involve incorporating new movie scenes, music genres, or even synthesized sounds designed specifically to deter wolves.
The use of drones also offers several advantages over traditional methods. They can cover large areas quickly and efficiently, and they can operate in remote locations where it would be arduous or dangerous for humans to go. Plus, they’re a less lethal option than shooting or trapping wolves, which can be controversial and have unintended consequences for the ecosystem.
This innovative approach highlights the growing need for creative solutions to human-wildlife conflict. As human populations continue to expand into wildlife habitat, we’ll need to find ways to coexist peacefully with the animals that share our planet. And sometimes, that means deploying drones armed with the most emotionally devastating scenes from Hollywood’s greatest films.