Navigating Travel Anxiety During High-Risk Pregnancy: Expert Advice
Care and Feeding: Parenting Advice Column
Dear Care and Feeding,
I am 38 and 7 weeks pregnant with twins. I have a 2-year-old son and had a complicated pregnancy with him. I live in a blue state where abortion is legal at all stages. My parents live in a bordering state where abortion is banned at 6 weeks. It takes 3 hours to drive to my parents’ house and 1.5 hours from there to the state border. I plan to visit them for Thanksgiving when I will be 12 weeks pregnant. I also have a company holiday party in December in a state where abortion is banned at 15 weeks, and I will be exactly 15 weeks pregnant then.
I am terrified of traveling to states with abortion bans during a high-risk pregnancy with twins. If there’s an emergency, my husband can drive us to the border in 1.5 hours from my parents’ house. From the holiday party state, it’s a 2.5-hour drive to the nearest state without abortion bans. We may not get a rental car. Should I go on these trips? Am I being overdramatic? I’m worried I can’t get lifesaving care if needed.
— Pregnant and Scared
Dear Pregnant and Scared,
You are not being overdramatic. The overturning of Roe v. Wade has made access to reproductive healthcare complicated and dangerous. Skipping the holiday party is wise. Anything can happen, and the abortion ban can prevent necessary treatment even if it does not involve terminating the pregnancy.
Regarding your Thanksgiving trip, consider the nearest hospital’s quality once you cross the border. Your parents may be several hours away from a suitable healthcare facility. A multiple pregnancy carries more risk, and with your past complications, staying home until after delivery is safest. Perhaps your parents can visit you instead.
Dear Care and Feeding,
I am a 14-year-old girl struggling with eating and body image. I can’t stop worrying about my weight and calories, affecting my grades and friendships. I skip lunch and can’t focus on tests. I am bulimic and feel shallow for caring about this when there are serious issues in the world. I want a future where I can contribute positively, but I’m lost. How can I overcome this obsession? I’m seeing a therapist, but it isn’t helping, and I haven’t told my parents.
— Worried
Dear Worried,
I relate to your struggles. Disordered eating and body image issues are difficult to face alone. You must talk to your parents about your problems; they can’t help if they don’t know. Be honest with your therapist. Therapy works best with transparency. If your current therapist isn’t effective, you may need someone new.
The first step is to tell your parents to seek support. Prioritize your health and happiness over societal expectations about appearance. These years should be joyful, not a struggle. Speak to your family about what you’re experiencing.
Dear Care and Feeding,
My 10-year-old daughter is on the autism spectrum and has ADHD. She is intelligent but struggles socially and has anxiety. We switched schools last year. She wanted to attend a private school but couldn’t complete the entrance test due to anxiety. We chose a private tutor instead, and she’s thriving. Now she wants to try the entrance test again, but I have concerns. Her friend was bullied, and the school seemed unresponsive. I fear my daughter will be bored in class. What should I do?
— School Decisions
Dear School Decisions,
Your daughter’s desires matter, but her welfare comes first. This private school does not seem like a good fit. Share your concerns with her honestly, including what you’ve heard about bullying. Talk to her friend’s parents to get more insight into their experiences.
You should explain that the school may not adequately support her anxiety. Offer to explore other local schools, but stand firm on not enrolling her in this one. Prioritize her needs in your decision.