The Anger Translator: A Need for Plain Speaking

The former Comedy Central show Key & Peele had a recurring sketch called “Obama’s Anger Translator,” where Jordan Peele impersonated President Barack Obama and Keegan-Michael Key, as Obama’s Anger Translator, would scream what Obama was really trying to say. Many exchanges went like this:

“These achievements should serve as a reminder that I am on your side.”

Jordan Peele (as Obama)

“I am not a Muslim.”

Keegan-Michael Key (Obama’s Anger Translator)

“And that my intentions, as your president, are coming from the right place.”

Jordan Peele (as Obama)

“They’re coming from Hawaii, which is where I’m from, which is in the United States of America, y’all. OK? This is ridiculous.”

Keegan-Michael Key (Obama’s Anger Translator)

At the NFL scouting combine, coaches and GMs, like politicians, often speak in riddles. Employing hundreds of people, spending over $200 million a year, and representing billion-dollar franchises, these leaders must walk a fine line between honesty and strategy. This week in Indianapolis, we saw numerous examples of this delicate balancing act.

New York Giants’ Joe Schoen on Saquon Barkley

One of the most interesting exchanges was between New York Giants General Manager Joe Schoen and the media. Schoen was asked about the decision to let Saquon Barkley go:

“I’m happy for Saquon. Obviously, he went on to win the Super Bowl. We wish him nothing but the best. Always going to evaluate all the decisions you make, and we were at a different place in our build.”

Joe Schoen

The clear translation of Schoen’s statement is:

OBVIOUSLY I WISH WE HAD OFFERED SAQUON BARKLEY A FUCKING CONTRACT LAST OFFSEASON.

Joe Schoen also mentioned that he hasn’t gotten any calls about doing HBO’s Hard Knocks, barely veiling his frustration:

“I think I know what I would tell them.”

Joe Schoen

The translation is:

Those HBO jerks almost edited me out of a job.

Jets GM Darren Mougey on Aaron Rodgers’ Media Appearances

Darren Mougey faced questions about Aaron Rodgers and his relationship with the Jet media.

“I just want to address the Aaron Rodgers stuff, get ahead of that. I’m not going to discuss any private discussions that I had with Aaron throughout this process and really with any private discussion that I’ve had with any player for that matter. I’m not here to confirm or deny any rumors that happened during that process. I will say this: There was never an ultimatum or rules of engagement for Aaron to potentially join the Jets again. That never happened.”

The readable translation is:

I am not here to confirm or deny any rumors about Aaron Rodgers, HOWEVER there is one very specific rumor about Aaron Rodgers that I categorically deny!

The competing reports and Mougey’s affirmation suggest Rodgers has been asked to quash his public appearances. Thanks to New York Times report, rumored conditions included no more spots on The Pat McAfee Show and sticking to mandatory minicamp. Mougey’s final remark was characterized by a hopeful note on Davante Adams:

“Davante is on the team right now.”

Darren Mougey

Which hints:

Davante Adams will not be on this roster much longer for prohibitively expensive.

Browns GM Andrew Berry on Defensive End Myles Garrett’s Trade Requests

Browns GM Andrew Berry was asked several times about Myles Garrett, and his responses were as follows:

”We can’t imagine a situation where not having Myles as a part of the organization is best for the Browns.”

or

”Again, our interest is in keeping Myles in Cleveland.”

”We appreciate Myles and, like I said, we’re not interested in moving him.”

“Ultimately, my responsibility is to make the decisions that are best for the Browns, and having Myles a part of the organization is a huge piece of that.”

“What’s best for the Browns is to have Myles on the roster.”

This means:

Please stop asking me about trading Myles Garrett.was

Browns long-standing quarterback problems and Garrett’s frustration with the ongoing lack of success have led to this situation. Factually, the chances of vendors being interested in Electric vehicles, the Browns having adequate choice to achieve a winning situation in the future if another offer comes in are strongly resistant.

Jaguars GM James Gladstone On His New Role

A new reality hit the Jacksonville Jaguars as their new GM, James Gladstone. Described as extraordinarily baby-faced, the new GM appeared as someone you might find on a bar stool getting carded at twenty-five years old.

“Currently, I’m living in Indianapolis for the week. Then I will return to Jacksonville here in a handful of days and start looking for a new home that’s a little bit more permanent. But my wife is in fact pregnant and she’s due at the end of May, so we got about a 30-day travel window we can work with here, to bring it all to life. So, there’s a shot clock. And for sure.”

James Gladstone

The practical implication aligns with: We are in a whirlwind state with relocations and a new baby due shortly, and I dread the next two months absolutely.

The Personal Touch: Falcons Head Coach Raheem Morris on the Tush Push

The Packers suggested banning the recently prevalent “Tush Push” play, which was met with mixed reactions. However, Falcons’ Head Coach Raheem Morris couldn’t have been more candid about it:

“The Tush Push play, I’ve never been a big fan. There’s no other play in our game where you can absolutely get behind somebody and push them, pull them off, do anything.”

Raheem Morris

Impression:

Defense is hard enough, and now we permit the opposing teams like the Eagles to squeeze out?

If every team successfully executes it, then complaining just sounds whiny.

Packets may be targeting a rule change with the intention of diminishing the Eagles’ unique play-calling strategy.

Eagles Head Coach Nick Sirianni on Teams Determined to Ban the Tush Push

In response to those targeting a formal ban on the Tush Push, Eagles Head Coach Nick Sirianni was straightforward:

“The fact that it’s a successful play for the Eagles and people want to take that away, I think, is a little unfair. … I almost feel a little insulted.”

Nick Sirianni

Conclusion:

Translation unchanged. Unbeatable if all were able to repetitively copy this approach.

EAGLES winning formula and positioning in recent years could be emulated as a universal game-tactic.