Retirement Reality Check: How Loss of Status and Income Can Unleash a Dark Side in Husbands, Fueling Divorces Among Couples on the Brink of Golden Years
According to statistics from the Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare, the percentage of “middle-aged divorces” in divorces in 2022, where couples had lived together for 20 years or more, reached an all-time high.Abusive husband and a dishwasherAio Horii, a lawyer who has written a book titled “Middle-aged Divorce,” says, “When people hear the term ‘middle-aged divorce,’ they tend to imagine a divorce triggered by retirement, but recently there have been more cases of people considering divorce when they reach retirement age from a position even before retirement.”
*The cases presented in this manuscript have been modified from actual cases to respect confidentiality and privacy.
Photo＝iStock.com／kazuma seki
*Photo is for illustrative purposes only.
I was surprised by my pay slip after retiring from my position
A-san (50 years old), a full-time housewife, lived with her husband (55 years old), who worked as a manager at a major manufacturer, and her eldest son (22 years old), who was a university student. Her husband was a typical old-fashioned company employee, and he was often away drinking or playing golf, leaving the household chores to his wife. A-san managed the housework and child-rearing with the living expenses given to her by her husband.
My husband is planning to retire at age 65, but he reached the mandatory retirement age for his position before that. The mandatory retirement age for a position is a system in which employees who reach a certain age are forced to retire from managerial positions and are given general employee status.
Although Ms. A and her husband knew that such a system existed at their workplace, they were shocked when they saw their pay slips and saw that the position allowance had been removed. Their monthly income had fallen to almost half of what it had been.
The husband panicked and said, “If the money is going to decrease so much, what will we do in our old age?” He then made A-san show him the family bankbook, which she had never even looked at before, and angrily said, “You haven’t saved any money at all. What have you been doing up until now?”
She managed her living expenses with the amount given to her by her husband, and used the rest to pay off the mortgage, her eldest son’s school fees, and help with her husband’s parents’ medical expenses, so she hasn’t saved as much as she thought she would. A-san said, “My salary has been significantly reduced, but my eldest son will soon be employed, and if we live frugally, it’s not an amount that we can’t get by on…” but her husband didn’t listen. He said, “I’ve worked hard, but I haven’t been able to save any money because of your wasteful spending. From now on, I’ll be in charge of the household finances.”