Yoga for Overcoming People-Pleasing
- For the first 25 years of my life,it was easy for me to forget who I am.
- Thinking the only way to "hear" myself was distance, I made a big life change: I left behind the life I knew in California and moved across the...
- To cope with my increasing loneliness, I started taking mile-long walks from Williamsburg to Greenpoint so I could attend rooftop yoga classes overlooking the Manhattan skyline.
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Finding Myself on the Mat: How Yoga Helped Me Overcome People-Pleasing
Table of Contents
For the first 25 years of my life,it was easy for me to forget who I am. I tended to enmesh with others, orbit around their realities, and as a result, entirely lose my center. Like a moth to a flame, I was drawn to those who were outspoken, shone brightly, and took up a lot of space-which left little room for me.
Thinking the only way to “hear” myself was distance, I made a big life change: I left behind the life I knew in California and moved across the country to New York City. And while my new career as a fashion editor started to take off, I didn’t know what to do with myself in the absence of these relationships.
To cope with my increasing loneliness, I started taking mile-long walks from Williamsburg to Greenpoint so I could attend rooftop yoga classes overlooking the Manhattan skyline. In between postures, I could hear myself again-starting with my heart beating, then my breath inhaling and exhaling. Although I can’t tell you what specific poses were so impactful in those early days of yoga I’ll never forget the embodied experience of self-acceptance I felt. I had finally found something to fill the gaping void in my heart, while simultaneously creating more space for me to be me.
The more I practiced, the more awareness I cultivated. I could finally feel what codependency kept concealed. I was able to see my people-pleasing patterns more clearly and even recall early childhood memories that induced unhealthy boundaries.
Understanding Codependency and People-Pleasing
Codependency is a learned behaviour that can often develop in childhood. It’s characterized by an excessive emotional or psychological reliance on a partner, typically one with an addiction or other unhealthy behavior. people-pleasing is a common manifestation of codependency, where individuals prioritize the needs and desires of others above their own, frequently enough to the detriment of their own well-being. This can stem from a fear of rejection or a belief that their worth is contingent on others’ approval.
The Role of Boundaries
establishing healthy boundaries is crucial in overcoming codependency and people-pleasing. Boundaries define where you