Abstinence & Abundance: 6 Life-Changing Books
- To the uninitiated, the words abstinence and divestment may suggest deprivation.
- The author's book, The Dry Season, recounts a period of intentional celibacy in their mid-30s.
- Withdrawing from romantic obsessions allowed the author to devote attention to friends, family, activism, and art.
Discover how embracing abstinence can unlock unexpected joys and a deeper appreciation for life’s simple pleasures. This News Directory 3 article explores the surprising benefits of saying “no”—from romantic relationships to habits—and how intentional refusal can lead to abundance. Learn how pausing before reactive behaviors can help you find a renewed sense of purpose, focus, and connection.uncover the wisdom of finding freedom in discipline, and get ready to transform your perspective. Discover what’s next.
Finding Abundance Through Abstinence: Unexpected Delights in Refusal
Updated June 09, 2025
To the uninitiated, the words abstinence and divestment may suggest deprivation. They might bring to mind someone who has given up pleasures and consigned themselves to a joyless fate. However, personal experience suggests otherwise.
The author’s book, The Dry Season, recounts a period of intentional celibacy in their mid-30s. After 20 years of committed relationships, they decided to take stock of their romantic patterns, spending a year without sex, dating, or flirting.
The surprise was how enjoyable this period was. Withdrawing from romantic obsessions allowed the author to devote attention to friends, family, activism, and art. They read more books and went dancing more often than ever before. Even mundane experiences became vivid, highlighting the tang of fresh raspberries, the crispness of clean bedsheets, and the freedom of solitude. The sublime, once sought in lovers, was found everywhere.
Writing about this abundant year led to reflections on other forms of refusal and their unforeseen delights. As a young addict, the author believed artistic practice relied on drugs and alcohol, only to find their work bloomed in recovery. Similarly, giving up obsessive control of eating habits led to a renewed appreciation for food. Rather than deprivation, purposeful refusal can open us to the bounty we have been forgoing. This applies not only to addictions but also to habits sought repetitively for comfort. The books below describe other forms of abundance found through abstinence.
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Fasting for Ramadan, by Kazim Ali
This memoir originated from a journal kept during Ramadan, evolving into a meditation on hunger and worship. Ali writes, “One feels, at the end of a day of fasting, like a tree branch or a bone bleached in the sun.” Readers will find pleasure in his writing about hunger, its passing, and what fills that space. he admits, “I will miss the feeling of emptiness that foodlessness offers me…I will miss the weird focus that comes from removing consideration of this huge thing from my mental space.” In anticipation of abstinence, we focus on what we give up, but the experience frequently enough reveals what we’ve been neglecting. As Ali depicts, “holiness is everywhere,” and sacrifice can sharpen our attunement to it.
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Notes and Methods,by Hilma af Klint
This book contains the first English translation of the writings…
What’s next
Further exploration of the themes of abstinence and abundance can lead to a more fulfilling and meaningful life. Consider exploring other forms of purposeful refusal and reflecting on the unexpected delights they may bring.