The way relationships end is changing, and increasingly, that change is happening on our smartphones. A new survey from the German digital association Bitkom reveals a growing trend of breakups occurring via text message and messaging apps, particularly among younger adults. While the face-to-face conversation remains the most common method, its dominance is waning, especially within the 16-29 age group.
According to the Bitkom survey, conducted between calendar weeks 3 and 4 of 2026 with 1,449 internet users in Germany, 25% of 16- to 29-year-olds have ended a relationship via SMS or messenger app. This figure contrasts with an overall rate of 13% across all age groups. The traditional breakup conversation still holds sway, with 60% of all respondents reporting having ended a relationship in person.
However, the shift in communication preferences is evident. Among the younger demographic, only 45% have opted for a personal conversation to end a relationship. This is a significant drop compared to the 66% and 67% reported by those aged 30-49 and 50-59 respectively. Leah Schrimpf, Head of Digital Society at Bitkom, notes that “Digital communication makes contact easier and faster, which can strengthen connections. At the same time, it changes how we have difficult conversations.” She adds, “How people break up is increasingly following the communication habits of everyday life, which is particularly evident among younger people.”
Beyond text messages, other digital channels are also playing a role. 12% of respondents have ended a relationship via phone call, a figure comparable to those using messenger apps. Less common methods include social media platforms like Facebook or Instagram (4%) and email (4%). Surprisingly, the traditional written letter still sees some use, with 8% of respondents having ended a relationship this way.
A particularly modern phenomenon, “ghosting” – the abrupt and complete cessation of all communication – is also on the rise. Nearly one in ten respondents (9%) admitted to ending a relationship by simply disappearing. Breakups initiated by a third party remain rare, with only 2% reporting having ended a relationship through someone else.
The Bitkom study highlights a broader trend documented in other research. A 2015 Pew Research Center study found that while an in-person conversation is still considered the most socially acceptable way to end a relationship, breaking up via text message or social media is largely frowned upon. The Pew study assigned an average acceptability rating of 8.4 out of 10 to in-person breakups, while phone calls received a 5.4. This suggests a societal expectation for more direct and personal communication when ending a significant relationship.
The rise of digital breakups isn’t simply about convenience; it reflects a fundamental shift in how relationships are formed and maintained. As relationships increasingly begin online, through dating apps and social media, it’s perhaps unsurprising that they also conclude in the digital realm. However, the psychological impact of a digital breakup can be particularly acute. Neurolaunch.com notes that receiving a breakup text can be especially isolating, leaving the recipient to process their emotions alone.
The impersonal nature of text-based breakups can also contribute to feelings of disrespect and a lack of closure. While a brief text might seem like a quick and easy way to end things, it can leave the other person feeling undervalued and without the opportunity for a meaningful conversation. Experts, as cited by Bustle, generally recommend face-to-face communication for relationships lasting more than a few months, emphasizing the importance of expressing gratitude, clarity, and well wishes (if sincere).
The Bitkom data, published on , paints a picture of how digital communication is permeating even the most intimate aspects of our lives. The generational differences in breakup preferences underscore the evolving norms of communication and the increasing comfort with digital interactions. While the ideal method for ending a relationship remains a subject of debate, the trend towards digital breakups is undeniable, and its long-term psychological and social consequences warrant further investigation.
WhatsApp, specifically, is identified as a common platform for these digital dissolutions. A report from Ahead-app.com suggests that digital breakups, including those occurring on WhatsApp, create unique psychological challenges compared to traditional endings. The permanence of messaging apps, and the potential for re-reading messages repeatedly, can prolong the emotional pain and hinder the healing process.
