There she is, standing opposite me, clutching a large Starbucks cup. I, at sixteen years old, with my head in the future. She looks at me nervously, a mix of curiosity and uncertainty. Her locks are straight, and her eyeliner is just a little too thick—a trial from the umpteenth YouTube tutorial she thought to control in perfection.

Don’t worry

“Okay,” she says, taking a sip of her pumpkin spiced latte. “Tell. How did my life become?” I smile. Where should I start, without overwhelming her with her future? “Well, you no longer live in your familiar village and you have not become a beautician either. You live in a Hanseatic city and you have obtained your HBO diploma.”

People Pleaser

She puts her hands in front of her mouth. “Wow, what would Maurits think of this?” I lean back and look at her. She’s so young. So full of dreams and plans, but also so uncertain. A real people pleaser. She always watches her words and is constantly afraid of disappointing others. I know she sometimes puts herself in last place and that she swallows her opinion because she is afraid of hurting someone.

“You change that by the way,” I say. She frowns. “What do you mean?” “You think less about others and more about yourself. You don’t let you walk over you anymore. You are still sweet and caring, but you now know that your limits are also important.” She looks at me doubtfully. “That doesn’t sound like something I just learn.” I smile. “You don’t just do that either. But you learn, really.”

Adult Life

She sighs and picks up her Starbucks Cup where her name is written. “Okay. What more?” “Well, you have been with Maurits for almost fifteen years and you are married to him.” She shines. She got to know Maurits when she was a blue thirteen-year-old student, but apparently this sounds rather strange in her ears. “That’s … Bizarre! And it sounds so mature.” She smiles and I hear her brain crack. “Then we also live together?” I smile. “Certainly! You live in a nice Vinexwijk where children play on the street and cozy neighborhood drinks are organized. You live nice!”

Dream Came True

She looks dubious. “That doesn’t sound wrong indeed.” Her gaze changes. “And … children?” I grin. “You have a daughter.” She screams with joy and hits her hands in front of her mouth. “No! Real?!” “Yes. She was born seven weeks early, but exactly at the right time.” She swallows. “So I will ever give birth ..” Knowing her I felt this comment coming from miles. “Yes, but you can do much more mentally and physically than you might think now. And do you know what? Your second child is coming, so you’re just going to do it again.”

She can’t comprehend it. “Two children?!” Yes, you are a mother and that role opens a hatch in your heart that you don’t know yet. Just like new worries and a good dose of responsibility, by the way, but please don’t worry about it now. She looks at me, her eyes shine. “I can’t believe my dreams have come true.” I look at her with a tender look. “No matter how difficult the adolescent life is sometimes, you don’t have to worry. You get things on the ride. Real.”

I take a last sip of my coffee and look at her. She has no idea that I have drunk a warm (!) Cup of coffee again for a long time. Every day I prepare a cup in the early morning, but because of my energetic toddlers I forget to drink it as standard. I’ll not say that to her for a while. And not that my natural alarm clock starts to tabon at 6 a.m. instead of being able to stay in my nest until noon. This sixteen-year-old girl, full of dreams and doubts. She has no idea how much she will grow and experience. But when I see her like that, I know one thing for sure: she will get there.

The moral of this coffee date? One day you look back and realize: your young person you would be proud of you.

Curious about the ultimate household tip, another nesting purchase, and why she was surprised exactly one year after the birth of her daughter with a baby shower? Check here for all columns by Melanie.