how Comedy Saved My Life: A Stand-Up’s Journey Through Grief and Finding Joy

For some, hobbies are a way to unwind after a long day.for ⁣me, comedy is ​the day. It’s not a pastime; it’s my life’s work, my passion, and, ultimately, my salvation. I don’t⁣ chase the nightlife, skip dates, ⁤or seek solace in a drink. My high comes from the stage – the rush of endorphins when a joke​ lands, the connection with an audience, the shared experience of laughter. It’s ‍a feeling I can only describe as intoxicating.

The Healing Power of Laughter in the Face of Loss

that passion ‌was tested, and ultimately solidified, during the most tough period of my life: my mother’s illness and eventual passing. Watching someone you love suffer is an agony unlike any other. it ​felt like a darkness had ⁣descended,‌ and getting out of ⁤bed each morning became a monumental task. But even in those darkest ⁢days, comedy was my lifeline.I leaned heavily on my stand-up, using the preparation for specials as a reason to keep moving forward. it wasn’t about escaping the pain, but about finding a way to coexist with it.Remarkably, even while my mom was resting in ⁤the hospital, I was writing, crafting jokes, and refining my material.‌ It was a strange juxtaposition,‌ but a necessary one.

Why Comedy Feels Like “The Safest Drug”

there’s a⁣ essential truth I’ve discovered: you can’t be simultaneously sad and laughing. They are mutually exclusive. While deep sadness and depression are undeniably real,⁢ even a fleeting moment of laughter‌ offers respite. It’s a ‌temporary reprieve, a breath of fresh​ air in a suffocating atmosphere.

This realization led me to believe ​that ‌comedy is the safest “drug”⁣ you can take. There’s no judgment for laughing too much, no stigma attached⁤ to finding joy. It’s ​a ⁤purely positive experience, ⁤a natural antidote to the hardships life throws our way.

From​ a​ Peaceful‍ Childhood to Unexpected Hardship

Before my mom’s diagnosis, life felt…easy. I had a wonderful upbringing, a close-knit family, and a sense ‍of security. I even held a naive⁣ belief that things would always be‌ good. Her‌ illness shattered that illusion,forcing me to confront the reality that suffering is‌ an unavoidable part of the human experience.

Comedy didn’t⁤ just get me through that period; it carried me after her passing in October 2021. It was present even at the funeral, a surprising and poignant reminder of her spirit. Amidst the tears, laughter unexpectedly surfaced. Humor has a way of breaking ⁢through, of asserting itself even in the most somber of moments. You can fight it, but sometimes, it’s simply impractical to suppress.

Accepting Life’s ‌Ups and Downs – and the Artist’s Struggle

Everyone ⁣faces their own challenges. It’s inherent to being human. And while it’s easy to catastrophize, to believe that your situation is uniquely terrible, time has a way of offering outlook. It doesn’t​ erase the pain, but it softens the⁣ edges. ​Conversely, even‌ moments of success aren’t always what they seem.

Even now,with‌ an HBO special under my belt,a constant stream of shows,and a new hour in development,I still experience days of self-doubt. Perhaps it’s simply the nature of being an artist – a constant​ cycle of creation,critique,and vulnerability.

The Rejuvenating Power of the Stage

But the moment I step onto the stage and hear the audience’s‍ laughter, everything shifts. I’m‍ instantly rejuvenated, grounded, and reminded of why I do what I do. Comedy keeps me anchored, propelling me forward despite the unavoidable ⁢curveballs⁤ life throws my way. I honestly don’t know where I’d be without this outlet,this source of joy and connection. It’s more than just a career; it’s a lifeline, a purpose, and a ⁤testament to the enduring power of laughter.

As told to Johanna ferreira

Johanna Ferreira is‌ the content director for POPSUGAR Juntos. With more than 10 years of experience, Johanna focuses on ​how ‍intersectional identities are a central part of Latine culture. Previously, she spent close to three years as the deputy editor at HipLatina, and she has freelanced ​for numerous outlets‍ including Refinery29, O Magazine, Allure, InStyle, and Well+Good. She has also moderated and spoken on numerous panels on Latine identity.