Maroon 5 All Night: Early Bedtime Review

Why are people still hating on Coldplay when Maroon 5 is right there? Their good-to-bad album ratio is one–however many other albums they have that aren’t Songs About Jane, but they somehow slide underneath the hate radar whenever Adam Levine isn’t actively cheating on one of his partners. But not today!

“All Night” is Levine’s attempt to be Harry Styles, or to enter the “chill funk vibes” Spotify algorithm. Don’t let that excite you, since it’s a Love Is Blind stock music recreation of something that’s Perfectly Fine on its own.

There’s something homophobic about something this obviously hetero coming out on Pride Weekend. Straighties, listen below.