A few months ago, when I went on a trip, I put some liqueur chocolate in my mouth. I love snacks, but when they pile up I’m very slow at processing them, so I’m finally finishing them now.
Now that I think about it, I vaguely remember not touching the chocolate, thinking it must be sweet. Ever since I was a child, there was rarely even a can of beer in our refrigerator. In other words, no matter how chocolatey it is, no one will eat anything with alcohol in it except me. As expected, it was still there without any packaging having been opened. From the beginning it felt like this was my space.
While watching the movie, I suddenly wanted to get drunk. I didn’t have the courage to buy alcohol, but looking at the raw chocolate in the freezer I thought of liqueur chocolate. I reached over to the shelf and pulled out a box.
As I was about to open the new package, I remembered something I left behind while trying to eat it earlier. It had a stronger flavor than I expected, so I cut it into small pieces, ate it, and put it in a zip-lock bag.
“Oh, how sweet.”
Thinking back, did you eat sweets and chocolate during that time and smell the strong taste of alcohol? Thought. Immediately, as if there was no mistake, I opened the new package and the perfume entered. The already opened one seemed to have come into contact with air and the alcohol had leaked out.
If it tastes bitter, you get drunk especially quickly. This is why I can’t drink raw soju. When I went out drinking with friends, I would order a drink even if I was teased. Or I drank sweet drinks like plum blossom water or cheongha by starlight. There were many times when I went to a cocktail bar or drank wine.
It’s a combination of so-called alcoholic waste and children’s tastes. For some reason I get drunk relatively late when it comes to sweets, but the chocolate I’m melting in my mouth right now is a little sweet and quite bitter. I might get drunk soon.
Am I on the line between being aware of being intoxicated and being intoxicated like my clothes getting wet in a light rain, and biting into sweet, bitter things? One way or another, getting drunk is the same thing. Only the speed is different.
Looking at the few remaining boxes, it looks like I’ll have the chance to drink alone a few times for now. I haven’t had a drink alone in a long time. They say if you drink too much of it you’ll get drunk, so let’s call it alcohol.
I have my philosophy of not smoking or drinking in difficult times. I don’t like to depend on something. In the end, even if I smoked a cigarette and threw away all the ashes, or even if I got drunk and made friends with a dog on the street, the situation didn’t improve.
Even as I say this, I have never had trouble drinking. It’s a problem I can’t solve, but it’s a problem I suffer from too, so I drink it alone as an excuse to forget about it for a while. I didn’t drink enough to get drunk. I also understand and empathize with what you find in difficult times.
However, there are many reasons why I don’t turn to alcohol and cigarettes when I’m struggling, but I should write the one that just came to mind. Because I don’t want to restore it. I am a simple person who quickly forgets bad memories. When I wake up from a good night’s sleep, my anger subsides and I forget about my negative feelings by eating a small cup of fried chicken.
However, if you drink when you’re going through a hard time, you’ll end up drinking to the point of getting drunk to forget the bad feelings, and end up with a hangover the next day. I’m in a zombie state and the next day I remember why I drank yesterday. After smoking, my throat hurts and I keep swallowing water or spitting out phlegm, feeling something bubbling. This philosophy of alcohol may have developed due to a reluctance to be remembered that way.
With a few pieces of chocolate I can’t drink much water, talk or move, so I feel dizzy. I’m dizzy but I feel fine. It’s nice not to think about anything. I do not want to think about it. I think so much that my head often hurts.
I actually write about alcohol often, but I don’t drink alcohol often or that much. When my period comes once every few months, I drink it for a while, and if it is short – two or three months, if it is long, I take a break for about six months. It wasn’t intentional, but it became my drinking routine.
I prefer soft drinks to alcohol and I prefer water to soft drinks. Something sweeter than bitter. Something deeper than sweet. Don’t drink when you want to forget. I drank it when I wanted to remember. When you want to remember. I drank it even when I wanted to think about only one object.
#Episode #Chocolate #Liqueur #Philosophy #Alcohol
