The wave of immigrants continues, and many of those leaving Hong Kong are families. Parents should also take care of their children’s feelings when preparing for immigration. Psychologist Dr. Li Weitang shared tips with parents to help their children face immigration, so that parents can prepare their children psychologically for the transition caused by over-migration.
How do children understand immigration?
Children and adults have a different understanding of immigration. The younger the children, the more they tend to think that emigrating and moving house is synonymous with going to play, and they can go home after the end, and it’s like going on a trip . They can return to Hong Kong after a few days of fun. Therefore, parents should clearly give a message to their children that immigration means going to a far away place, and it is not easy to turn back.
Make good use of visual cues to teach young children
Dr Li Weitang reminded parents that the younger the children, the more they need visual cues, and visual cues are easier to understand than verbal descriptions. Parents can use toys or picture books about moving and immigration to tell their children through dolls or pictures: the immigration representative is going to a very far place, and apart from the family members, all the things in the family will have move them there.
Getting Your Child to Reduce Anxiety
Some children feel anxious when they see their toys put in the box when they move. Dr Li Weitang explained that this is because it takes a long time for the box to be taken out, which will make children worry that the toy will be lost in the middle of the delivery. In order to make children feel at home, parents can ask children to seal the toy box together, and draw signs, pictures and other visual cues on the surface of the box to let children know that the box will arrive in safe.
It is not wise to tell children that they want to immigrate too early
Children’s sense of security comes from whether the event is within the prediction or the sense of control over the matter. If the child is told to immigrate too early, but no action is taken during the process, the child will feel inexplicable and anxious. Dr Li Weitang suggested that it is better for parents to tell their children about their decision to immigrate about 2-3 weeks before when they need to hold a house.
Parents can let their children take part in the packing process, and can also mark the date of immigration and the things to do each day on the calendar, and cross off the dates as each day passes, so that children feeling more in control and emotional. fixed
Parents need to adapt
Children tend to imitate their parents, so if the parents express concern and worry, the children will also inherit this feeling and feel uneasy together. Therefore, it is better for parents to make plans on their own to find a new house and job, in order to reduce their worries about the unknown. When children see that their parents are calm and not fussy, they will naturally be relatively stable and calm.
Bring daily routines of off-site activities
When you come to a new place, if the environment and the daily routine are completely changed, it is easy to make children emotional. At the same time, children do not need to go to school immediately after immigration, and there will be more free time. Dr Li Weitang suggested that parents, during this gap period, try to follow the normal routine of everyday life in Hong Kong and maintain a similar rhythm of life. , parents can organize activities, online classes, etc., and try to keep the schedule in Hong Kong as much as possible. Children will adapt more easily and will have a sense of control.
Say goodbye to good friends
Children in secondary elementary school will be more reluctant to participate with their classmates Parents should let the children clearly understand that they can no longer play with classmates in person after immigration, but it does not mean that they will lose friends. Kids can still stay in touch, like making appointments for video chats and playing online games together. Parents can also remind their children to call their classmates to keep them in touch.
Dr. Li Weitang reminded parents, try not to tell the children definitely that they will never return to Hong Kong, so as not to make the children feel that things will disappear. Some children worry that they will never see their loved ones, which leads to anxiety. Parents can explain to their children that although immigrants will move far away, they can return to Hong Kong to visit relatives and friends when they have the opportunity, leaving children with hope.
Give your child time to adjust
Dr Li Weitang said that the time for children to adapt depends on how much the environment changes. If they move to a completely different country from Hong Kong, children will usually be able to adapt after a month. During the first week or two of moving, it is common for children to lose their temper, cry easily, and wake up easily.
Some children who are prone to anxiety will take a long time to adapt to environmental changes, for example, it takes a month to start feeling settled when they start working N shift, or it takes a week to recover after a long holiday. . Dr Li Weitang suggested that parents of this type of children can make more preparations with their children, such as role playing with children, or try to show their children more about the living environment in the future, so that children can anticipate the future as much as possible, in order to ease their feeling of anxiety. Parents should also pay attention. If a child is clearly affected by anxiety, has continuous nightmares, bedwetting, temper tantrums, loss of appetite, tears, etc., parents should seek professional help.
Psychologist Dr. Li Weitang
Psychologist, clinical psychotherapist, heart. start Founder of Qing Professional Counseling Institute/Mental Health Center, who has been involved in psychotherapy and education for many years, helping parties, including adults, parents, and children, to understand and unravel intangible feelings, to grow healthier and happier; at the same time, Dr Li often appears in different media Share the experience of raising children and adjusting emotions, improve civic education, and let the public pay more attention to emotional, social and parenting health.
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